


Rule Number Three

by ElasticElla



Category: Selfie (TV)
Genre: Background Bryn/Charmonique Whitaker, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Post-Canon, Recreational Drug Use, mentioned freddy/raj
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-29
Updated: 2016-06-29
Packaged: 2018-07-19 01:37:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7339294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElasticElla/pseuds/ElasticElla
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Once Henry and Eliza start dating, they agree to not have sex right away.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rule Number Three

**Author's Note:**

> for andrea <3  
> inspired by the brooklyn 99 scene: _“Rule number three, let’s not have sex right away.” “(Pause.) Cool. Cool cool cool cool cool cool cool, no doubt no doubt no doubt no doubt. Good rule, no sex, good rule.”_

Success. 

It's not a new feeling for Eliza, not nearly. Before Henry, she had over a hundred and forty thousand followers just for instagram, was instafamous. (Since they started dating, her numbers have dropped to the fifty thousands and Fit Brit doesn't even mention her anymore.) She's the best in sales, has been for years. With follow through, she's been able to get things that don't come as easily to her- like actually reading the super boring books for Bryn's book club. She even has Henry now, and since Freddy started dating someone new, Eliza doesn't even have to feel guilty about dumping him again. 

There was just _one_ little thing she hadn't counted on: 

“Good morning Charmonique, how are you?” 

“You know, I'm really good. Bryn got Kevin on this green-only diet, tricked him into eating a spinach pie last night. The doctors said as long as he's on a balanced diet moving forwards-” 

Okay, Eliza is maintaining eye contact. She's nodding a little bit, has her sympathetic listening face on, and she really _does_ care about Charmonique and her life. Like if anyone else had decided to have angry fighting sex in her living room without waiting for her to leave, she would have totes billed them for like a professional cleaning service and unfriended them for at least a week rather than hitting the nearest cafe. It's just like how many times can Eliza be expected to hear about yet another vegetable that Bryn managed to disguise enough to get Kevin to eat it? Like the story follows the same exact format, and Eliza really needs to ask about-

“How was your weekend Eliza?” 

“Henry still won't have sex with me!” Eliza whisper-yells. 

“Uh huh,” Charmonique says, amused. “Didn't both of you agree to take things slow?” 

“Well yeah,” Eliza admits. “But I thought he meant like three dates, it's been three _weeks_! Like I love him and am really happy we're together I just thought more orgasms would be involved. Well, more that involve him, directly. Not like me, alone, thinking about if the last time we were on the couch together-” 

“Got it,” Charmonique interrupts.

Eliza sighs, “I just want to keep things interesting in our relationship, and I don't know what to do. We already know each other so well, and sex isn't an option.” 

“Mhmm.” 

“So do you have any advice?” 

“Well, there is this one dessert Bryn made for us when Kevin had a sleepover...” 

.

Eliza can do this. She's prepared all week- Monday made the plan, Tuesday talked to Bryn, Wednesday bribed Bryn (and her collective) into making the pot brownies, Thursday panicked- and now it's Friday, and she has to tell Henry her idea. She knows he won't mock her or anything even if he doesn't like the idea of them getting high together, it's just like she's worried he'll think it's juvenile. Like he'll wish he was dating someone more like Julia again, someone who likes going to the opera or some fancy shit. Not-

Raj is sitting on Freddy's desk. Raj is leaning back in an almost flirtatious way, one of Freddy's hands on his upper thigh. And Eliza _cannot_ believe it. If she had known Freddy liked guys too, that really cute one she met at a club- Mark or Marcus or whatever- who totally propositioned her for a threesome, like that so could have happened. 

She gets to Henry's office still annoyed at herself for not asking Freddy, and she's totes having a 'how do you feel about threesomes' conversation with Henry once they actually get to the sex part. In fact, maybe she should print off the yes/no/maybe lists Bryn was talking about-

“Hey, are you okay?” Eliza asks when she gets to Henry's office and finds him with his head in his hands. 

“Yeah,” Henry says, wincing. “just a little headache. Maybe no loud clubs tonight?” 

“Let's stay in,” Eliza suggests, and then Saperstein needs to talk to Henry, and Eliza doesn't exactly mind the interruption. She'll just bring the brownies to his place, and worst case, they don't eat them. 

.

“You brought illegal drugs into my residence without asking.” 

“I thought it'd be fun for us to do something new together?” 

“New?” Henry echoes. 

“Uh oh, you're going monosyllabic on me.” 

“No I just thought- you haven't done this before?” 

Eliza shakes her head, spinning the pan on the counter. “No friends in high school, and I wasn't going to risk a massive unfollowing over a wave of unflattering pics. Vicky used to be like megafamous, and then she decided to document getting high for the first time. Two hundred blurry photos later, she had like maybe a thousand followers left. Super sad. What about you?” 

Henry frowns. “In high school I didn't want to get caught because I wouldn't get to college, in college I didn't want to get caught because I wouldn't get a good job.” 

“And now?” Eliza asks. 

“And now… I suppose we could- I live in a glass house. We can't eat them out here.” 

Eliza raises an eyebrow, “So we should move to your bedroom?” 

Henry's eyes widen a smidgen, and he grabs the corner brownie out of the pan, “Here's fine.” 

Eliza laughs and grabs a center piece, paper towels and pan coming with them to the couch. 

The very moment Henry finishes his brownie, he says, “I don't feel different. Maybe it didn't work.”

Eliza shrugs, picking up another square and breaking it in half. “It probably takes more than one, right? Like you barely get tipsy off one drink.” 

Two rows later, they discover the brownies most certainly do work, but both are a little too high to think back to their earlier assumptions. Henry's head is cradled in Eliza's lap, her manicured nails running through his hair over and over and over. It might be the nicest feeling in the world, and Henry can't easily recall any other time he was so happy. 

“I really love you,” Eliza suddenly declares. 

“I love you too,” Henry says, smiling up at her. 

Eliza's lips twitch, fingers briefly pausing. “No like, I'm trying to say- if you wanted to go slow because you don't want to have sex at all, that's okay. You're more important than that.” 

Henry's eyes go dramatically wide, “Eliza Dooley, willing to give up sex forever for little old me?” 

“Shut up dork,” Eliza says fondly, petting his hair more. She's about to ask what conditioner he uses, when it hits her that Henry said _forever_ , and her stomach is twirling, the most beautiful word echoing in her head: forever, forever, forever. 

There's a soft snore, and Eliza holds in a happy giggle, should have expected that Henry would be the sleepy high type. Carefully taking out her phone to make sure it's silenced, Eliza slips her bra off before completely relaxing against the couch, one hand carding through Henry's hair again. A yawn slips past her lips, and maybe they're the same type after all. It's a funny thought with all of their other differences, and maybe tomorrow she'll ask about the sex thing. (Charmonique thought Henry might be insecure about his age which made like zero sense given Eliza's already dating him, and Byrn said something about people who never liked sex and if that's it, Eliza owes Henry like a _bunch_ of apologies for things she's said when he's cranky.)


End file.
